Dear Songwriting,

You and I have had a strained relationship.

Mostly my fault.

Okay, okay - all my fault.

But I thought I'd like to tell you that I have changed.

Am changing.

I just wanted to let you know that I think I'm ready.

So much has happened that I want to tell you about.

Most of it ~ just images and colors and emotions - but I'm so excited about that.

I'm scared. I'm exhilarated.

I'm nervous about who I'll be on the other side, but I am so grateful that whoever that is, it will be the truth.

Like - deep, personal, sacred, real truth.

The real real.

And it's not pretty or comfortable.

But I'm glad for that - because when have we ever been pretty or comfortable?

Time to change all that. Time to write what I know.

Hurt.

Passion.

Desire.

Drive.

Gratitude.

Confusion.

Frustration.

Searching.

Longing.

Joy.

Peace.

Reality.

I admit I am brokenhearted that we are re-writing faith, and that trust still eludes me. Sometimes that particular grief feels debilitating. But - there will be the rest of my life to find the truths in those realms.

So now you know,

I finally have something personal to say.